In a country where marriage is believed to last seven lifetimes, where there’s no real concept of a prenuptial agreement, and where weddings are not just personal but entire family affairs, love often takes a backseat.
Divorce laws are lengthy and emotionally draining, and conversations around desire—especially within marriage—are still taboo. In such a culture, where marriage is rarely about companionship and more about social contracts, how do people deal with unmet emotional and physical needs?
For many, the answer lies in stepping outside their marriages. Yes, it takes courage—social, emotional, and moral—to admit that a marriage no longer serves its purpose.
Psychologists point to multiple causes: early marriages, marrying for the wrong reasons, emotional disconnection, becoming parents too soon, lack of physical satisfaction, conflicting life goals, or simply the craving for excitement and attention.
Extramarital affairs in India are not new. They have existed quietly for generations, buried under layers of guilt, silence, and denial. But today, in the age of smartphones, social media, and dating platforms, this once-muted phenomenon is now backed by data. And what this data reveals is not just shocking—it’s telling.
The Data That Changed Perceptions
According to a recent Ashley Madison survey, the global dating platform for people seeking affairs, Kanchipuram—a small, religiously significant town in Tamil Nadu—has emerged as the top Indian city for extramarital affairs.
Yes, not Delhi, not Mumbai, not Bengaluru, but Kanchipuram, known for its temples and silk sarees.
Among Tier-I cities, Delhi leads in extramarital activity, followed closely by Mumbai and Bengaluru, according to the same survey. But the surprising revelation is the high number of users from smaller, Tier-II cities and towns, with Kanchipuram unexpectedly topping the charts.
The rise is attributed to increased internet access, the cultural shift of younger generations, and the privacy that online platforms offer in conservative societies. Ashley Madison reported a significant user base from India, with a noticeable surge during major holidays and after significant life events like childbirth or anniversaries—times traditionally associated with emotional vulnerability or reassessment.
What This Says About Indian Marriages
This data challenges the myth that extramarital affairs are an urban, Western-imported issue. It also compels us to look inward: Are Indian marriages becoming more performative than personal? Is our silence around desire and emotional health pushing people to seek intimacy elsewhere?
Kanchipuram topping the list is symbolic—it shows that even in religious, culturally rich towns, people are wrestling with the same questions of love, fulfillment, and identity. Perhaps it’s not morality that’s shifting, but honesty.
In the end, the rise in affairs is not just about infidelity—it’s a commentary on unmet needs, the rigidity of our marital expectations, and a culture that still struggles to talk about what happens behind closed doors.